The Resurrection!

. . . and I heard a voice!

Hello!

My name is Alethea . . . just kidding, it’s Tosin.

Okay . . . Alethea? Hold on. I’ll tell you all about that name and why it’s the name of my blog somewhere along the lines of this maiden post.

My blog??? I can’t even believe I wrote that. I actually now have a blog. I remember many years ago when on a Facebook post I asked if I should start a blog. At that time blogs weren’t a popular fixture on our screens, and at that point I thought it wasn’t for me, no matter how many people said I should start one. You see, I love to write a lot (another story for another day), but in this social media age where people get the opportunity to access what you write and actually read it, (I’m about to confess my sin) I was consumed by something very familiar to a lot of us who kind of write: THE FEAR OF THE LACK OF READERS . . . or to the layman, the lack of ‘comments and likes’. So I told myself that to save myself from rejection, I would rather not put myself out there to be rejected in the first place.

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UNTIL NOW!

For a long time, I really haven’t been myself. The pressures of life probably gave me a blow I didn’t see coming. And I took it like a sore loser; I fell face down, flat like a pancake and drooled all over myself. I complained a lot about what I wasn’t doing and how I wasn’t who I wanted to be at this point. I magnified my weakness, elevated my shortcomings and threw a lot of pity parties. In the midst of all the drama, there were times I would get on a high and feel like I could fly over every mountain, and just when I would take the first leap, I’ll come crashing down again. The cycle never ended. UNTIL NOW!

For those who don’t know me, I’m a bit of a ‘Daddy’s girl’ . . . or maybe a whole lot. Being an ‘only girl’, I loved my dad to bits. He was the quiet one. The ‘somewhat’ gentle one (mummy, you know you are gentle at heart). The patient one too. When I lost him to a car accident, my world shook. To the foundation. It shook. And Fell. But in all the rubble, I met someone else who I had always known from afar. This One came in to my life and began to rebuild my shattered pieces and help me make sense of who I actually was. The confused misguided teenager finally had someone to hold her hand and walk her through the maze of life. Eventually, I became a ‘Daddy’s girl’ once more. I loved Daddy with all my heart and gave Him my everything.

UNTIL. THE. BLOW. FROM. HEAVYWEIGHT. CHAMPION. LIFE.

 

That blow hurt me more than I realised it did. That blow sent me flying till I gained a steady momentum and began to float. And float I did. Away from Daddy.

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UNTIL NOW!

But there is a voice that calms rough seas. There is a voice that drives all fears away. There is a voice that raises the dead, but until now, I had not allowed myself to hear that voice. UNTIL NOW. I sat at the last row at church, where I always sit. The worship was on and I sat on my seat, blank, starring into the audience watching me which was no one at all. I sat there wondering if anyone could actually hear me screaming at the top of my voice. Screaming for help. Then I heard the voice:

“Faithful one, so unchanging
Ageless one, you’re my rock of peace
Lord of all I depend on you
I call out to you, again and again
I call out to you, again and again”

“You are my rock in times of trouble
You lift me up when I fall down
All through the storm
Your love is, the anchor
My hope is in You alone” ¹

To the ears of every other person around, it was the voice of Pastor Chris singing a song they weren’t familiar with, so the hall was a bit silent as he sang to his heart’s content. But there was another voice. Calling my name. Drawing my attention. Saying to me:

“Daughter, I’m still here. I never left you. I will never leave you.”

And I heard it. And I listened. And I screamed. AND SCREAMED!

You see, I knew the song. My dad used to play the cassette in his car and at home when I was young, and I had recently stalked the writer of the song to send me a copy since I couldn’t find it anywhere.

What a way to get my attention. So I screamed the words. I sang it out and meant every bit of it. I knew Daddy was listening. He finally got my attention.

The sermon that came afterwards was from heaven to me. Waking me up. Setting me free. You see, I’ve woken up many times from my fearful floating crash of a slumber, but you know how you wake up just to hit the snooze button, that’s what I always did. And always went back to sleep.

This time, I’m up and ready to rumble. Like Lazarus (if you are familiar with that Bible story), my dead ears heard the voice of the Master, I’m out of my tomb and unwrapped from my grave clothes.

I believe my life is made for more than I’ve used it for so far, and I’m done complaining that I’m not doing anything with my life. So I’ve dumped my fear of rejection and I’ve brought myself out here. I’ve taken another leap over that mountain; I see the peak, it’s right behind me. I’m tethered to Daddy and I no longer float.

So hello again. My name is Tosin. Daughter to Daddy, wife to Gagzi, mother to Drama Queen and Bumble Bee . . . friend to the TRUTH.

Welcome to my RESURRECTION!

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P.S.: Alethea is the name of my latest niece. I waited for her and she finally came to put a smile on my face. Alethea means TRUTH. So here’s to Alethea, who’s arrival was just in time for my resurrection.

¹Faithful One by Brian Doerksen

²Image: Samus Floating in Space by Diony69

91 thoughts on “The Resurrection!

  1. Amazing!! Well written and full of heart! You’re God’s treasure! Be bold and share your amazing literary gift with the world…You have a great husband and amazing children, plus a very bright future…. You are really Daddy’s (the big G) girl!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The much awaited blog… I’m glad to see it manifest. I know we are in for a big treat. I loved reading every bit. We are in the resurrection. With your permission I’m reblogging it😉😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First thing my mind said before I started to read was ” it’s about time, why did she wait so long sef” I read every word without pausing . It felt more like kindred spirit.

    Nothing is lost. The seasons we feel we’re slumbering also plays vital roles in the grand scheme of things.

    Welcome to your resurrection morning and welcome darling Lil’ Alethea.

    More! T-gal more! We don’t mind waiting because we’re assured that every post will do a deep working in our hearts.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is awesome, Tosin. I recently started blogging again after one of those falls – one I dragged out with lots of pity parties, so I can totally relate. Finally decided to stop playing hide and seek and face life 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very good read. Glad you overcame the fear and got going. My favourite part is the end;’ I am tethered to Daddy’. That says it all. Nothing else matters and you certainly will not fail.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for availing yourself, you can’t imagine how many of us are going through this and can relate. Pressures from everywhere but little do we know that great Grace is available to us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank God for grace, Marie. Without it, hmmm…. I really pray this piece points others going through same to the ultimate source of the grace that resurrects. I miss you o.

      Like

  7. Resurrection!

    The beauty of our Lord’s resurrection was that he had to live among us (men), do the works sent by His Father (fulfilling the Father’s plan), die (still part of he plan), be buried (plan…still), wait 3days (the wonderful part of the plan)…..then the Resurrection (the ultimate part of the plan). Gbam!

    So you see…Alethea was born just at the right time and Aletheasmind had to wait the birthing process and the what-nots.

    This I celebrate 🎉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Release…. that’s a great phase! Where you no longer have to hide or fear
    The beginning of the rest of your life… everyone needs this… and you’re blessed to be at that point!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Resurrection !!!! Welldone Daddy’s girl! Be rest assured Daddy’s got your back always. Keep looking ahead darling you are made for the very top😘😘

    Like

  10. YES, YES, YES!!!!!
    YOU DID IT Tosin!!!
    I’m so HAPPY.
    And to know this is just the beginning.
    I enjoyed reading this and I’m waiting for the next.
    No pressure because your Daddy’s got you covered. You’re thoroughly equipped.

    Love, Liz

    Like

  11. Ah, Tosin! This is so refreshing!
    To think all this good drama was going on with you while I was painfullly stumbling through what chords to play as Pastor Chris sang, cos I didn’t know the song, obviously…
    I’m very glad you found the courage in God to get started. I’m proud of you sis!

    Like

  12. Hi Tosin, I’m at that point in my life where i feel spiritually numb , a total failure and even beginning to harbour doubts if there is a God. Where those ‘blows’ come to you they really pour. Nevertheless, reading your post has got me thinking that perhaps…..just perhaps…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ingrid babes, it’s more than perhaps, it’s more like ‘certainly’! Trust me, this phase is a vulnerable one, but I learnt from that Sunday sermon that it’s in such times the devil speaks his lies to us, telling us we are what we are not. But we will not allow him to deceive us. We believe that in whatever phase, even in the drudgery of life, we are full of purpose…and nothing can take that away from us. Be encouraged babes.

      Like

  13. Awww
    I celebrate this. And have always wondered why you hadnt or didn’t have a blog.
    I find it a bit funny you worried about comments or feedback back. Lol.

    I’m glad and celebrate your resurrection too.

    Cheers to Aletheasmind!

    Like

  14. Wow! Beautifully delivered, inspiring and blessed. Didn’t know this side of you, though you are my daughter.
    Thank you for coming out of your shell. You will do well with this blog and God’s grace and breath will be on it mightily. as people read and share, there will be comforts, salvations, praise reports, testimonies, harvests and an advantage to our family (kingdom)

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I am grinning from ear to ear. As usual, u v stolen my thoughts and words. We are in motion and the Holy Spirit will continue to quicken you in this great endeavour. Akwaaba, Sister Araba T-Baby. God bless you.You are always a blessing.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Alethea == This couldn’t come at a better time. Holy Spirit gave me a new name a while back and just in the past week, explained the meaning to me. Guess what, the name means “Truth will be established, Truth is established”. So YES! Truth (Alethea) will be established, the blog, the child and “The Truth of the Lord”

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Thanks for sharing your story Tosin. It takes courage , bravery and a genuine deliverance from the pain of the past to but this blog together.

    You will fulfill GOD’s purpose for your life Tosin, for the sake of HIS glory. Keep writing and keep shining the light!!!

    Congratulations for the birth of your niece.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Amazing amazing amazing is our father who looked over us even while we lost in sleep and met us with a broad smile and loving open arms when we finally decided to wake up.
    God bless you my dear for sharing this resurrection. A reading of which I pray will awaken all who are in asleep in the faith.
    Amen!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Tosin, where do you begin?… I have known you for about 10 years and counting. One thing stands about you; which is your ability to unequivocally say what you think and feel at any material time. I applaud this step to capture your thoughts on paper or (screen) to challenge, inspire and encrouage the rest of us. I’m rooting for you and may God use this beyond your wildest imagination.

    Liked by 1 person

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