Over the past 7 months and counting, I have been enjoying the company of the latest addition to my family; Super-chilled Dude. Like Drama Queen, his unique ability to make me smile even when I want to throw in the towel sometimes drives me nuts. Yes! Nuts! Everyone should get the opportunity to just loose it once in a while, and feel human, but they won’t let me. They give me too much hope that pushes me to go on . . . I just can’t give up.
But that’s not the topic for today.
Today we talk about nappies, or diapers, as your lingo may prefer.
You see, Super-chilled Dude is so chilled. He takes his time to do every single thing in life, not like he has had much to do anyway. Quiet. Laid-back. Gentle. Those are the words that describe him, well, until . . .
The super quiet laid-back gentle dude becomes a bolt of lightning about to shatter everything in it’s path the moment he does a ‘number-two’. He becomes restless, like a bunch of aliens have invaded his nappy. Or ants. And if his restlessness is not noticed and attended to immediately . . .
Yup! He lets out a shrilling cry for help. You would really think he’s about to be kidnapped.
You see, I never had such an experience with Drama Queen, so even after 7 months, I still find it intriguing that this little boy knows when he has made a mess and demands to be cleaned up I-M-M-E-D-I-A-T-E-L-Y.
Just like me.
I remember a time in my life when I struggled with a certain weakness. In those times, I would try all I could to overcome it, and when I couldn’t, I’ll beat myself up to a pulp and later cover my black eye with make-up. And so it happened with every other thing I struggled with.
My pity-parties were lit. It had the best DJs flown in.
Dance floor packed with me, myself and I, dancing with ourselves to the music of our imperfection.
Then one night, I lay in bed with my face to the ceiling and said to myself:
“I’m done trying”
At that point, I felt that if I was always going to get messed up, like Super-chilled Dude’s nappy after every meal, I might as well just get used to sitting in my mess. Maybe that’s how it’s meant to be. I was born that way. I’ll stay that way. No use crying for help, cos help hasn’t come since I started crying anyway, so it’s most probably never going to come.
But I was wrong! So wrong!
“The day you stop crying for help, you’re dead!” ― Me (Tosin Iyawo Ogaga)
Seriously, what on earth would make me love sitting in my mess? Why on earth would I rather choose pain, and love to dwell in it? What really would be my reason to give up on fighting for my life, if I wasn’t already dead? The reason Super-chilled Dude cries when he makes a mess is because he is uncomfortable in it, and would rather not remain in that state. So he cries. Cries for help. So why shouldn’t I?
Why shouldn’t you?
I know how quickly I reach for baby wipes when I get puked on. It’s a mess I can tackle, so I get at it as quickly as possible. But I find myself in a mess way bigger than I can handle and what do I do? Roll in the mud. Oh Tosin! There’s Someone who can handle it. Cry for help. CRY!
“A shout for help isn’t always a cry of pain; sometimes it is a hymn of praise.” ― Joyce Rachelle
When I came across the quote above within my little time of research, my heart skipped 5 beats. It raised my spirit in more ways than I could ever imagine, because I never would have thought of it that way. You see, every time Super-chilled Dude cried from a dirty diaper, he was crying out to me, to help him. To change him. If he didn’t think I was capable of doing it, he would never cry to me.
Oh what a sound of praise it would be to the ears of the One who can fix me when I cry for help, because my cry tells Him I trust Him. I believe Him. I know He is able. I know He can change me.
So yes, I was wrong. I was wrong that night on my bed. I was wrong to think that I could sit in my mess because help didn’t seem to come. It was wrong for me to assume help wasn’t coming. And from the moment I cried for help again, I never stopped.
I will never stop.
Like Super-chilled Dude crying about his nappy invasion, I’ll cry for help, anytime, anywhere, to anyone who can help . . . and to the One who’s got the greatest wipes around:
So if you’re sitting in a mess, a messy relationship, a messy reputation, a messy emotion, a messy heart, go on, let out that cry.