Recovering ‘p-p’

Daily writing prompt

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

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The fact that I’m writing this post is somewhat an answer to the question. My initial intention when I logged on to my site was to write about something else that just transpired. But, of course, I came across today’s prompt and thought it was interesting enough to cause me to postpone my original intention. I guess this is proof that whatever answer I give to the prompt is accurate.

To begin my answer, I want to introduce myself as a recovering ‘P-P’ (where P-P stands for People Pleaser).

Yup, but not forever!

I woke up this morning to a verse of scripture in the book of Galatians:

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Paul the Apostle (Galatians 1:10)

Yes, I have read this verse a number of times before, but it struck me differently this morning, and here is why:

Only just yesterday morning on my drive to drop the children at school was I greeted by a rude gesture directed at me from a random driver who was trying to go through using my lane. She had no reason to be upset. I had right of way, and if she was patient for a second, she and other drivers behind her would head on as there was only one car behind me. But she decided to get angry and react to me because I didn’t stop to let her through. I felt so hurt by what she did as I drove past her, but I didn’t respond.

As I drove away, I caught my heart twisting and turning, and only then did I begin to question why a random person had the capacity and access to squeeze my heart so easily. The answer didn’t take long to arrive:

“You want everyone to be happy with you. You want everyone to be pleased with you. You want every action you take to sit well with everyone you meet. It is the P-P in you that is disturbed because you feel someone is offended by you.”

Who? Me?

I couldn’t deny it.

If you frequently read my posts, you might have come across the most important advice my dad gave me when I was just about 13 years old: “Tosin, you can’t please everybody…” The man saw my Achilles heel before I knew I had one. Twenty-three years later and we’re still on the topic.

Yesterday, I asked the Lord what could be done about it, and seeing the verse this morning only made me realise how important it is to get this fixed. How can I be a bond-servant of the Lord if my eyes keep darting back and forth at the faces of people to see if they are pleased with me? This is why for a long time, it was so difficult to say no to people even when their requests would not only interfere with my goals but completely annihilate them.

Let me point out, though, that there is a big difference between being kind and generous, and being a people-pleaser; knowing the difference is what transforms our hearts and gives us discernment for the times when we need to say ‘no’.

I do have a long way to go, still I am grateful. I’m not where I used to be 23 years ago, or 10 years ago, or even yesterday. The Lord is working in my heart and He is not done yet. The Holy Spirit pointing out the verse to me this morning shows that He is very much invested in moulding my heart and transforming it. So, I trust Him.

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I know I said at the start that I had plans to write about something else when I came on here, but I don’t regret writing this post, after all, I had a P-P post in my drafts folder anyway, so that’s it now sorted.

Now, on to the post that brought me here . . .